brainstorm


 

 

 

 

for Bluebell Books Poetry Slam Week 3

 

 

 

the darkening clouds
move in like ground troops
controlling my sky,
stealing my sunshine.
the trees scream
and fight for their space,
but the darkness scurries in.
there is no room for light,
no place for the comfort of blue,
nowhere to run but into the storm.
my muscles tense and i wonder
if will it all consume me,
like the sky threatens to do
with each growing growl of thunder.

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29 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jingle
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 20:00:38

    Short Story Slam Week 4 is still open for submission,
    Come on in,
    We love your creativity/talent…
    Happy Thursday!
    Love & hugs.
    xoxox

    Reply

  2. Trackback: The Celebrate Blogger of Summer Awards Nominations (4 categories) | Bluebell Ocean Waves
  3. Leo
    Jun 25, 2011 @ 01:22:38

    a storm is needed at times to realize the value of the blue πŸ™‚

    Reply

  4. Mr. Walker
    Jun 19, 2011 @ 10:55:13

    Ominous, and a little scary, that storm front moving in. I like “no place for the comfort of blue”.

    Richard

    Reply

  5. bendedspoon
    Jun 18, 2011 @ 09:23:35

    perfect take on the photo! love your title πŸ™‚

    Reply

  6. Ravenblack
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 20:30:16

    Frightful but also exciting. You’ve vividly described the way storm clouds gather!

    Reply

  7. Helena (Hey! Lena)
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 18:39:15

    Dark and deep. I love how the words’ strength muster up as you read along. A mighty thing is brainstorm.

    Reply

  8. Kim Nelson
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 13:50:02

    The mixed metaphors of nature and war are used with powerful effect. Nicely constructed.

    Reply

  9. Andy McDonald
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 11:55:39

    You capture the prompt of a storm well here by making your words so. Loved it.

    Reply

  10. RoughWaterJohn
    Jun 16, 2011 @ 23:00:15

    Loved the way your words captured the frenetic power of the storm, wonderful!

    Reply

  11. Catie Eliza
    Jun 16, 2011 @ 19:10:35

    Epic and frantic, perfectly expressive of the panic that sets in with desperation. So hard to imagine it will ever be sunny again. but it will. xx

    Reply

  12. genebrother
    Jun 16, 2011 @ 15:30:50

    I feel captured by darkness
    by this poem. You question the outcome
    so Light will prevail.

    I enjoyed reading

    Genebrother

    Reply

  13. Fred
    Jun 16, 2011 @ 13:23:41

    Really like the storm motif that you carry throughout the piece, holding it all together. Really good job here:)

    Reply

  14. Cindy Eksuzian
    Jun 16, 2011 @ 06:46:38

    Nice poetic expression of anxiety consciousness! Well written.

    Reply

  15. tinkerbel1987
    Jun 16, 2011 @ 05:18:35

    Nice I love when its stormy reminds me of the thunder and lightening with snow at Xmas time πŸ™‚

    Reply

  16. Ginny Brannan
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 23:44:53

    I remember when I was young, I was more afraid of the thunder than the lightning–always thought it was the noise that got you, not the flash! Nicely feeling of tension and build up in this.

    Reply

  17. Andy
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 15:48:47

    You captured the rising tension very well with this piece.

    Nicely done!

    Reply

  18. ashbeezone
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 15:43:02

    Heyy nice 1 …
    Here’s mine stuff !!!
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2011/06/13/i-remember/
    Happy Rally !!! XD

    Reply

  19. thingy
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 14:52:17

    I felt the fear in this piece. Excellent take on prompt.

    Reply

  20. poemsaboutpeas
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 14:43:20

    I liked the sense of madness and tension in this – fab

    Reply

  21. Paul
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 14:24:27

    Like this, short and evocative writing – thank you

    Reply

  22. Alcina
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 13:42:51

    Rain…

    Pretty work πŸ™‚

    Alcina

    Reply

  23. a.m. trumble
    Jun 15, 2011 @ 12:38:43

    Reply

  24. A.B. Thomas
    Jun 13, 2011 @ 21:11:06

    Loved the build up and the ever tightening feel to the piece!

    Reply

  25. mindlovemisery
    Jun 13, 2011 @ 12:32:45

    I love the opening lines dark and brooding poem

    Reply

  26. Bryce Daniels
    Jun 12, 2011 @ 21:27:17

    “The trees scream and fight for their space…”

    I adored this line! Very nice work, indeed!

    Reply

  27. Reflections
    Jun 12, 2011 @ 20:25:55

    Love the feel of this piece. Expresses the photo well.

    Reply

  28. dunstancarter
    Jun 12, 2011 @ 18:38:09

    Niiice. Growling threats and worry. Good rumbling pace to it too

    Reply

  29. Jingle
    Jun 12, 2011 @ 17:40:40

    stormy words.
    well done.

    stay calm, it will go away.
    πŸ™‚

    Reply

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