i keep track of these days

by the pills that i swallow

to delay my future,

to hold back the things that should come.

the days go by slowly but take forever,

the only agenda is one i set  –

my goals are simple, self-imposed,

responsible and mundane.

i have visions of doing as i please

in this hot summer sun –

i picture a better me

dipping my toes in the writer’s pond,

seeking my answers where he found his,

leaving rocks upon the ruins of his cabin.

nobody ever said that any of this

would make sense,

would be easy –

i recall the opposite advice.

i hear my father’s words echoing

from the stove of his tiny kitchen

as many miles away as years,

all i can do is stay true to myself.

and my youth slips away to be wasted on those younger

as the universe intends, implies, imposes.

waiting, coping, holding on,

i pound the beliefs of others

into my aching head,

into my buried soul,

wishing i could believe in me

like they do,

wishing i had the eyes of those who love me,

because they see something real

between the words.


34 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 46 (June 16-22, 2011) | Promising Poets' Poetry Cafe
  2. Trackback: The Perfect Poet Award for Week 45 | Promising Poets' Poetry Cafe
  3. Stephanie
    May 25, 2011 @ 23:21:23

    Powerful words. I sincerely enjoyed this poem. Thank you.


  4. Helena (Hey!Lena)
    May 25, 2011 @ 14:04:06

    Oh my! This poem really touched on my emotions. This bit in particular:

    ‘my goals are simple, self-imposed, responsible and mundane’

    Little bit of me that is.


  5. halfwaybetweenthegutter
    May 24, 2011 @ 12:38:00

    Incredibly powerful. I could’ve written this myself, if I had the words you do.


  6. danroberson
    May 22, 2011 @ 22:01:58

    You have a powerful gift of words, cohesive and full of feeling. Youth has an advantage by being young, but age has wisdom that youth usually dreams of but can’t have until they shed the cloak of youth. But in your dreams and in your words you can be anything you want. Each day is a bonus day and you can choose how your future will go. I enjoyed your poem. It’s well written.


  7. Life: Between the lines
    May 22, 2011 @ 20:30:25

    first sentence rocked…loved it 🙂
    enjoy the rally!


  8. Jess
    May 21, 2011 @ 11:20:17

    powerful, emotional, well done


  9. Paulami
    May 21, 2011 @ 08:48:22


    that is my first reaction. powerfully written..


  10. booguloo
    May 21, 2011 @ 07:08:13

    Our future is never delayed. The sun rises with or without us. Like the write. We should get together and play scatter pill. We both take a day’s worth, throw them up in the air and take out the exact same number we put in… blindfolded.. that’s the kind of fun we “talk about” in the retirement villages.. big grin…


  11. Kay Salady
    May 21, 2011 @ 05:12:36

    Brilliant writing that’s filled with raw emotion. (They see a damn good writer). Keep it up!


  12. Sam
    May 21, 2011 @ 02:56:10

    This is powerful….


  13. blitzken
    May 21, 2011 @ 02:26:43

    A great piece that moves me for reasons I won’t go into. I love the opening line, “I keep track of these days by the pills I swallow to delay my future”. Brilliant.
    Thanks for sharing that!


  14. mindlovemisery
    May 20, 2011 @ 11:28:58

    “and my youth slips away to be wasted on those younger” Wonderful line.
    Beautiful and profound =)


  15. Mihir Vatsa
    May 20, 2011 @ 10:53:58

    I think I loved this phrase the most among many others- “as many miles away as years”. Shows the poetic word play.

    Good one!



  16. a.m. trumble
    May 20, 2011 @ 10:17:17

    so true and real


  17. Leo
    May 19, 2011 @ 12:55:59

    Oh.. like looking at myself through another’s words.. Thanks for this Berry.. Loved it.

    My Post Is Here


  18. Christine
    May 19, 2011 @ 11:35:06

    Gorgeous and brought tears to my eyes. We must believe in ourselves: no one will love or look after you like YOU. 🙂 I found the lines about “from the stove of his tiny kitchen/as many miles away as years,” simply brilliant.


  19. Raivenne
    May 19, 2011 @ 10:37:03

    I don’t know which I felt more:

    “i keep track of these days

    by the pills that i swallow

    to delay my future,”


    “wishing i could believe in me

    like they do,

    wishing i had the eyes of those who love me,

    because they see something real”

    At some part of my life I have been able to relate to much too closely. Beautifully penned and achingly felt.


  20. bendedspoon
    May 19, 2011 @ 10:32:56

    remarkable write. I can feel you 🙂


  21. magher1
    May 19, 2011 @ 04:51:34

    Very heartfelt and sad… Keep seeking, I personally believe that it is the most important thing to have faith in yourself. If you perceive yourself as a talented, strong person and accept all the defects, everybody will see you this way 😉


  22. Jingle
    May 19, 2011 @ 01:00:07

    deep, and beautiful………Thanks for sharing.
    marked you down as done.


  23. Andy
    May 19, 2011 @ 00:38:29

    A thought-provoking piece. Nicely done!


  24. Walt
    May 18, 2011 @ 22:06:59

    A wish we all share, able to see ourselves through the eyes of others. I believe we would see exactly what they see. If only we give ourselves permission to succeed. Your words put you in good stead. Keep it flowing.


  25. Genebrother
    May 18, 2011 @ 21:41:02

    Movement will get you where you want and need to be.
    Keep writing and moving.

    Nice poem.



  26. andy mcdonald
    May 18, 2011 @ 16:30:40

    It’s great when you read a poem that has really comes from someones heart. It creates an empathetic effect and makes you feel what they do whilst reading it. Truly great.


  27. thingy
    May 18, 2011 @ 15:57:19

    This is a very touching write.


  28. seabell
    May 18, 2011 @ 15:28:54

    I think we all can see something real in this poem: real feelings and words… And that is good poetry!


  29. birchtreepastor
    May 18, 2011 @ 13:26:34

    Powerful portrait here. Thank you for sharing!


  30. Miss Kitten
    May 18, 2011 @ 12:48:05

    Breathtakingly beautiful.


  31. Jingle
    Mar 16, 2011 @ 10:29:55

    lovely sentiments…
    well penned.

    keep wishing, keep dreaming..



  32. themenstruator
    Jul 14, 2008 @ 11:36:49

    Keep your head up.
    Awesome writing. Collect yourself and send it out.


  33. Aronski
    Jul 10, 2008 @ 11:06:30

    keep asking.
    life isn’t slipping away, just the moment.
    You may ask the question for the rest of your life;just keep asking.


  34. Wing Builder
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 16:48:43

    *sigh* Ceci est un poème merveilleux. Once again you have managed to capture the hesitance in our hearts. Weather it writing or something else, I think we can all relate to this internal struggle. You really seem to have your finger on the collective pulse.


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