(this was begun last june, and just finished recently, in my attempt to poke my creative side!)
the weather tonight makes me feel like i feel in early autumn, as summer fades from my fingertips and a chill crawls around my shoulders. it feels like new endings and old beginnings, like the things i’ve done a thousand times and still fear, like worn wood splintering into bare feet. i stand outside and count the stars, drawing lines with my eyes to connect constellations, most of which i make up. i am antsy, unsettled, worried. i feel churned, turned, spun around. Something is happening, energy is vibrating, and i can’t pin down the source.
the universe is unsettled, like shaken oil and vinegar, bubbling through itself to find it’s higher ground. the world turns itself over and over, looking for a side that feels right, a place to settle in, comfort. my pillow cradles my aching head, full of sharply edged questions. The buzzing buzzes and drones drone as the world moves on in it’s chaotic spiral. The constant background noise of our lives, the hisses and hums and lights and clocks lulls to sleep.
we are here, along for the ride, floating with the beasts as we try to make sense of our fortunes. it ends somewhere, and the universe, space and time will be here longer than we ever could be, holding on to what comes next. we worry and wander, seeking answers that were never ours to know. we try to find the worms living under the rocks, staying in the cool, keeping to the shade. too timid to ask the real questions, we stay low and try hard and keep quiet.
the inside quakes, unable to handle all of the truths at once. the shell stays steady, a start to something new. shaken and scared, it’s hard to trust,and almost impossible to believe. forward with faith into the cosmos we float, the winds change as the future shifts and all moves closer to being one.