crash
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i survived the night
the world crashed in around me
crumpled and crying
on my four poster bed.
i felt the weight of it all
surround my body,
as my hands grabbed at the
iron bars,
cold and rough beneath my palms.
displaced by the human condition,
spaced too far from
the compass point,
trudging these bumpy trails -
downtrodden and trodden down,
i thought i’d had enough.
but i survived that night,
picked up the shards
lying underneath,
i pieced myself together
with the scraps of the world.
and though my eyes were dark
they saw the rising sun.
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awww. : ( Sad.
Comment by willradik May 1, 2008 @ 9:12 amYour a talented Panda..
Comment by PacketRat May 1, 2008 @ 9:13 amAs a whole I like this piece. The poem really took me to that dark space that we can all relate to. We always think of good will being something something universal and we neglect to bring up the emptiness that somehow inexplicably we all share.
Comment by Wingbuilder May 1, 2008 @ 9:23 amTechnical Review: I think that while the term ‘Human Condition’ in the poem does technically fit the piece, it does now flow with the passion of the rest of the words that were chosen. Makes you step out of the flow for a moment for a side thought.
Wow, just wow. It seems we’re always trying to pull ourselves together, yet we never seem to reach completeness. Someday, lil’ sis, someday.
Comment by James May 1, 2008 @ 10:28 ami pieced myself together
with the scraps of the world.
these lines are the most moving and inspiring… describing a movement that makes something of a breaking.
Thank you!
Comment by Pareidoliac May 3, 2008 @ 11:01 pm